I do my best not to push my fear to the side. I feel as though ignoring it will only make it much worse when I have to inevitably face it. Lately, I’ve had a lot of fear. Graduating high school did wonders for my self-esteem and stress levels, but definitely did not help the impending sense of dread that accompanies adulthood. It’s all about balance though.
You see, I don’t let fear stop me from doing much. Every once and a while, my fear will paralyze me. Fish, for example, really freak me out. I have always hated swimming with them, eating them, or touching them in general. The only exception would be fish tanks, but that’s really an aesthetic thing. Because of this extreme dislike and fear of fish, I rarely swim in the ocean. I will work myself up to be able to do it, wade into my knees, and freak out at the sight of a little cichlid. It’s really unfortunate, I love everything about the ocean except those finned freaks.
The fear I’m experiencing now is a lot different. It’s less of a fear of something tangible and real, like a fish, and more of a fear of the potential. The potential for failure, for loss, for missed opportunities, that scares me.
But I still won’t let it cripple me. I have to keep moving forward no matter what I fear may stand in my way. My determination and resilience are two qualities I refuse to give up. They sustain me, they inspire me, and they took a lot of work to develop. I have these qualities for moments like this, moments when I need my strength more than anything. I will hold onto it and fall back on it like I am meant to do.
Eventually, when I do face my fear, I will only be stronger because I acknowledged it and didn’t allow it to paralyze me.