Missing blogs doesn’t feel great. Anyone who does everything every day will tell you that missing a day or two feels pretty awful. However, sometimes it can be healthy and productive.
Going away to college has not been easy for me. I’m having a hard time finding meaning in my classes. Instead, I feel as though I show up to lectures to simply have thoughts and answers fed down my throat. I’m not encouraged to ask questions and, when I do, I’m treated as somewhat of a nuisance. Coming from my background of Socratic education and discussion-based learning, it’s been a hard transition.
I needed time during the weekend to pull myself together and decide how I was going to tackle the week. In reality, I have to finish this semester at least. If I went back home now, I would forfeit all of the work I’ve already done and limit my options until January. When I realized I’d missed two daily blogs, I did feel a pang of sadness and disappointment. I couldn’t let this difficult period disrupt the work I loved so much. However, I also found that I had nothing to write about on those days.
Those days were mostly spent in bed, calming myself down, looking over my options, and coming to the understanding that my situation could be a hell of a lot worse than it is. I took the loss, but I took it as a sign that I was taking care of myself and acknowledging when I couldn’t push something I didn’t want to do.
I don’t want to force myself to write and end up hating the process. I’d much rather miss a few days, take the time I need, and come back to my grind stronger.