I took a week off. This week off happened to be planned ahead of time and focused on plenty of sunshine. It may or may not have included an all you can eat buffet, but that’s beside the point.
This particular vacation was much needed. I have been sitting on the edge of a cliff (metaphorically) for about a year now. Between leaving a place I had just begun to settle in to to starting a new long-distance relationship and a university education all in the same 3 month period, I was understandably exhausted all the time.
I don’t think exhausted always has to equal unhappy though. Being able to meet people who were studying what I was studying and having insightful conversations with them would tire me out while bringing so much light and excitement to my life at the same time. Making an effort to see my partner every single day was difficult for both of us at times, but it made it possible for us to spend an entire year as a long distance couple. Exhaustion and difficult tasks don’t always have to be things that correlate to a lack of fulfillment or joy.
However, prolonged exhaustion, no matter where it comes from, will drain a person. I’ve spent the last year balancing my family, friends, education, and future in the palms of my two very tired hands. I deserved a rest and I acknowledged that.
You were not born to run yourself into the ground. Find a way to enjoy your life, otherwise you’re willfully wasting it.
Ok, jokes aside, hiring a lawyer may be a good option. Filing for a 501c3 is difficult and comes with a lot of variation depending on the state you are filing in. You don’t only have to deal with the IRS, you have to deal with the Department of Revenue Services in your own state as well as the members of your new board.
If you don’t want to hire a lawyer, there are a lot of resources out there that can help you create a checklist for your state. The issue that I’ve run into is A) it’s not my corporation, so I tend to have to ask my supervisor a lot of questions because she is the director and the only person who can give me the ok signal when needed and B) filling out tax forms can really really suck. They require a lot of information and will time out constantly while you’re searching for stuff.
The bottom line is that either option, hiring a lawyer or doing it yourself, will have pros and cons. The decision will most likely rest on what aspect of your life is currently most valuable: money or time.
I went out with a friend yesterday. Instead of a sit down restaurant, she suggested that we pick up something to go and then find somewhere to sit down outside. It was a beautiful day, which Montrealers cannot afford to waste, so I thought the idea was perfect.
We walked down to an outdoor art installation and sat down for our “urban picnic.” As we were talking about our lives and what we’ve been up to, she suddenly said “You know, I’m so spoiled. I don’t know how I got so lucky to live in a city where I can sit anywhere, see beautiful art, walk another few blocks and do something completely different.”
My thoughts paused for a moment. I had been having trouble talking to her because all I wanted to do was complain. I have been feeling stuck in an in-between phase of leaving and arriving. I’m moving on Saturday, but a lot of my friends have already left Montreal for the summer. When she exclaimed about how spoiled she was, it really shifted my perspective.
I am incredibly spoiled, just like her. I’m fortunate to live anywhere I want, receive a fantastic education, work at with amazing people, spend time with my loving partner, and see my family whenever I want. I truly am spoiled. Montreal has been the most wonderful city, even during the peak of it’s harsh winter.
More importantly, I’m spoiled by my friends. Having people like her around remind me that positivity and love exist in every form, even in simple things. Walking around in the Montreal spring, looking at the street art and stopping in every little shop that caught our attention was such a treat. Her contagious love and passion for her city was a reminder that I am happy. It reminded me that the person I was a year ago would be so proud of who I am now. In that moment, I couldn’t believe I had ever uttered a negative thing about my life.
It’s good to have friends that you can complain with, but mutual grumbling can’t be the only form of friendship in your life. Find people that always have good things to say and spend as much time with them as possible. You never know what simple thing they may say that pulls your mind out of a rut.
I had a deep moment of nostalgia today. It was one of those memories that sets you back for a moment. It was buried far in my head, but it resurfaced as though it had been waiting for me to recall it for a very long time.
My high school had a rock band. It was one of the reasons why I wanted to attend it. I was first chair flute for two years, but playing guitar had been a passion of mine for a long time. I wanted a chance to develop my skills with the instrument among others in a setting that offered me opportunities to perform.
I sang, I played guitar, I learned some drums and bass. The rock band holds some of my fondest memories of high school.
One of the songs I remember covering was “The Funeral” by Band of Horses. There was a senior who covered the song with me when I was a freshman. I had met him the summer before and he quickly became a role model. The joy he held when performing was infectious. I was quite starstruck in his presence and will be forever grateful for what he taught me.
I reached out to him and told him that I hope he’s doing well and pursuing whatever makes him happiest. As I have been learning from myself, my internship, my supervisor, and all of the people around me, fulfillment has to take priority in life.
I made an op-ed piece for an internship a few months ago. I was really proud of the video when I made it, but that was overshadowed when I didn’t hear back from the company. I was incredibly hopeful for that internship.
However, I have had opportunities arise that I wouldn’t have been able to take advantage of had I received that internship. This video recently resurfaced as I was working on a promotional campaign. I thought it might be of interest to someone.
I have a habit of romanticizing things. I will idealize just about everything I can, which almost always leads to disappointment or burnout.
I romanticized airports as soon as I had the opportunity to do so. The first time I flew I was too young to have any memories of it, but the airport quickly became my second home. I loved every trip, but I loved the journey there more. The hustle and bustle and business of the airport drew me in.
A lot of it goes back to the blog I wrote about being busy. I have always wanted the life of a business woman who was jumping from city to city with new clients and meetings. I wanted to be jet-setting like that.
I’ve traveled more in the past twelve months than ever before in my life. Between moving to Montreal, being in a long distance relationship, working remotely, and going to conferences, flying became an every-other-week occurrence. I’m sure you can imagine how easily it lost it’s glamour.
Despite this, I am making my best effort to learn how to love flying again. It used to be very easy for me to be happy in an airport, but now I find that I have to make an active effort to find happiness in traveling. It takes more work, but it’s worth it to remind myself of how grateful traveling used to make me feel.
I wrote my first “big” philosophy paper this semester and decided that I wanted to publish it. I used ResearchGate in the hopes that I might get some feedback or peer review. If you would like to read it, it is right here.
This is an academic paper, so the writing is dense and meant to educate, not necessarily entertain. If you’re coming from my blog, you will find that it is nothing like what I write there.