The Desire to Be Busy

I used to think I was really cool when I would send all of my friends Google Calendar invites for movie or coffee dates. Productivity apps like Scheduly, Asana, Slack, etc. used to make me feel like my day to day life had more importance that I needed to assign to it. I had an intense desire to always be busy.

In reality, I look back on the time that I unnecessarily used Google Calendar and yearn for it. These days, if I don’t put something on my Calendar, there is a very high chance I will just forget about it. I had to put two alerts for every notification, one that reminded me two hours before an event and one that reminded me 30 minutes before an event, because sometimes two hours would pass and I would forget.

My high school desire to be busy has come true, but I am fully aware that I should have been much more careful in what I wished for. This week is probably the busiest week I will experience this year at McGill. Instead of meticulously planning my studying, exercise, and sleep schedules, I actually find myself pencilling in time to read books that I’m almost done with and get tea with friends.

It seems incredibly counterintuitive. I have three quizzes, an essay, class questions, and a midterm exam all between Monday and Friday. Despite being aware that these should be and are my first priorities, I no longer find myself glorifying late nights spent in the library or canceled plans with friends. I find myself basking in leaving my laptop at home, going to strange new places with my friends, and indulging every self-loving piece of advice I’ve ever heard.

Being busy is not something I should have ever desired in the first place. A good life is not one created by jam packing our schedules to prove our professional or academic worth. It’s a life created by flexibility and balance. I have yet to find those two things since beginning my education at McGill, but I think this blog will bring me one step further.

I only get to be 19 for a year. I can’t allow myself to feel guilty for not going out with friends or not studying enough or not getting enough sleep or missing too many classes or, in general, not pleasing other people.

I was foolish to glamorize a busy life. I am learning to savor the slow moments where my calendar is empty and my to-do list is complete or non existent. I don’t blame my younger self, but I do appreciate that I am now able to recognize and learn from the mistakes I made in the past. I know now that I never wanted a “busy” life in the true sense of the word, but a more meaningful one.

Make your to-do list one item shorter tomorrow. Go do something fun instead.

Best,

Eloragh

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How are You Making the Connection?

Someone that I have a lot of respect for asked me this question recently. We were having coffee with a group of people, and I happened to be the only one (I think) that had chosen to go to college. When scheduling this meeting, I knew I might face some questions about my choices and the practicality of them, so I prepared myself.

The absolute truth is that university alone is not enough anymore. I love what I do at McGill, but I can’t just do school work if I want to be successful in the future. That’s why I love side projects. Working with Social Evolution is a side project. Working on Original Path is a side project. Going to ballet and Orange Theory is a side project. Everything that I do outside of my primary focus (university) is a side project. They keep me sane and they keep me well rounded.

When this question popped up, I was ready to answer. I told them about my projects and all of the things I was doing outside of university to keep myself in the realm of professionalism. I also told them how much I enjoy the work I do in Linguistics and Philosophy and how it has made my life much richer and more collaborative. Showing them the connection between the value of the education I wanted and the value of everything I work on outside of school made me feel confident in my decision to pursue a degree.

So, how are you making the connection? Are you working on side projects? Are you keeping your health and happiness in mind? Are you considering passions that you may have been disregarding?

Any decision can be valuable, but you have to have reason and logic behind the decision. I struggled with knowing what I wanted to do for almost a year before realizing that I can do everything I want to. It may not happen all at once, but imagine if it did? That would be even worse, what an organizational nightmare.

Start thinking about how everything in your life is connected to your personal and professional development. You probably will be asked to justify your choices one day. Instead of worrying that it’s unfair or stressful, think about your choices, think about your connections, and fill in the gaps. Be prepared to answer the questions. You’ll be surprised how much more confident it makes you in your decisions.

Best

Eloragh

Why You Should Seek Criticism

Most students will experience their first job interview between the ages of 14 and 16. They will show up in an ill-fitting but passable professional outfit and hand over a disappointing resume consisting of their GPA, community service credit hours, and honor roll mentions. Their mother will be so proud, and she should be. 

A recent graduate from the entrepreneurial program Praxis gave this fantastic quote about first jobs in a recent podcast:

“Don’t be precious about your first job. Your first job exists for two reasons — to help you learn and to help you make money. That’s it. You don’t have to love it. Adopt a mindset where you’re there to learn. That’s what makes it fun even if you weren’t initially excited about it.”
– Emily Cozzens

Talkin’ ‘Bout Praxis

This piece of advice was something I wish I had heard when going into my first job as a dishwasher at a local bar when I was 16. I remember halfway through their season, it got so hot back in the dish pit that I passed out. I was embarrassed when my dad practically forced his way to my bosses office to demand that I was put in better working conditions. Admittedly, I had been burnt out (literally and figuratively), but there was an immense value in the gritty, exhausting work I did in the back of the kitchen. My parents were definitely proud, but they could never have matched how it made me feel. 

As time has gone on, I’ve found myself seeking jobs that would help me move forward in the career I want to build. Sure, my dishwashing job was fantastic for building my character and giving me confidence in my abilities, but no employer looking for a marketing director will care about it. I was searching for a job that would help me build my resume. That was my first mistake. 

I had an interview today for a position I am incredibly excited about. Regardless of whether or not I get the job, the conversation I had with the interviewer was fantastic, but not in the way you’d think. Towards the end of the call, they began to politely explain what they would have done if they had applied for the position I was aiming at. I had been dreading this since the beginning of the interview because I knew I felt unprepared. School has had me on a tightrope, but that’s no excuse for not doing my homework on the company. 

As the interviewer went on about what I presume to be what I did wrong, I found myself smiling. Once they had said their peace and given me some amazing advice, I knew my chance at the position was fairly slim, but I felt satisfied with ending the call. I wasn’t happy that I hadn’t gotten the position, I was happy that I knew what I did wrong. After applying for internships, part-time jobs, and summer positions for months with no replies, I finally had an idea of my errors. It was as though a weight of ambiguity had been lifted off of me. 

When you seek criticism from those who know what they are looking for, they will all tell you a few of the same things:

  1. Your resume is wrong.
  2. We don’t care about references.
  3. You need to show us that you’re prepared to work before you get the job.

Applying for positions or opportunities is not about how bulky your resume is, or how many references you can gather, or how beautiful your cover letter is, it’s about doing the work for the interviewer. I had heard this concept repeated to me a million times, but it only seemed to click today. Looking for positions that will “add to your resume” is worthless if they don’t also add to the skills you have. What do you think an employer wants? A piece of paper they have to read and then decipher if you’re the best candidate or a piece of work relevant and specific to the job you’re applying for that tells them more efficiently if you’re what they want?

Take the best of everyone’s advice. Take what you want to take. Most people who share thoughts and opinions don’t expect them to make a huge impact. Seek criticism and seek it shamelessly. We are so afraid to admit that we’ve failed, and even more afraid to ask for help. Be humble, but be confident. You’re not worthless because you don’t know how to do something. You’re more valuable when you seek and accept guidance because it allows your mind to exist in an open, flexible state. When you seek criticism, your ability to hear others thoughts, perspectives, opinions, problems, and ideas will expand. Seeking criticism is not about beating yourself up, it’s about being willing to learn.

Traditional schools will tell you that it’s your resume, your references, and your cover letter that will get you through the door. That’s what they’ve told me for years, and as soon as I tried to implement it, I learned how flawed and ineffective it is. Seek criticism from every employer who turns you down. 90% may never respond once they send you a rejection email, but that other 10% are the employers who want to see growth within the skills of the job market. They care about your improvement because you represent the future of your field. Any good business owner will want to ensure their prosperity in the future, which means letting you know how to improve when you apply again.

Criticism is a beautiful part of life. When you can learn to accept and absorb the information others are willing to share with you, you will understand how much empathy and passion comes from those people. The people who are willing to take time, even a small portion of it, to help you with a part of your life that is truly impactful: your career. Value those people, let them know that you have used their advice, appreciated it, and heard it for what it was. Critics are the better educators, for they know what they want and are not afraid to say so.

Eloragh

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Personal Development

Professional development is a concept that used to seem foreign to me. I assumed that I would be participating in seminars, lectures, presentations, etc. of the sort when I was a professional in the career I chose. This past year has opened my eyes to many things, but perhaps one of the most important ideas I have learned is that professional development is possible at any age, skill level, or educational background.

“Professional development?” you ask, “Isn’t this blog titled ‘Personal Development?'” There lies an issues of semantics. The two processes do not need to be different. There is a case to be made for separating your professional life from your personal life – don’t spend 12 hours in the office, have things you enjoy doing outside of work, make time for those you love who aren’t directly involved in the day to day humdrum of your career – but there are many ways to make your personal and professional life overlap in a healthy manner. 

Recently, I wrote about my week-long “hate-break” that helped me cool down and renew my passion for writing. I mentioned in this blog that I felt as though I had yet to see any major progress in my writing. This was one of the main reasons I found it to be so difficult to write every day. I very selfishly want my writing to take me places because I spend time pouring my mind out into my laptop. However, I also acknowledge that just because I give my effortS to this cause, no publisher or organization owes me the privilege of hiring me. It just means I need to improve my capabilities as a writer while growing my audience.

After coming back to Montreal from AynRandCon, I had gathered an immense amount of literature thanks to ARI. I had attempted to break into Atlas Shrugged two or three times but found myself intimidated by the sheer size of the novel. I picked up The Fountainhead in Atlanta and had a much easier time diving into the story. Perhaps I also felt as though I existed in a TV box of literature. The readings offered to me at McGill didn’t necessarily appeal to my morals or perspective.

The best two things any writer can do to improve are to write more and to read more. Reading the work of other authors is the single best thing (besides actually writing) that a writer can do to improve and advance their skills. Diversify what you read, take notes if it helps, and don’t be afraid of books like Atlas Shrugged. The only way to be able to read and write in a more advanced way is to challenge how you approach both.

Eloragh

Bad Grades

I’m not failing any of my classes, but for the first time in my life, I’m not excelling in them either. It feels like shit.

I have C’s in most of my classes right now. Yesterday, I wrote about how exhausted I was. Part of that exhaustion comes from the fact that I am putting in 110% to these classes and I am barely passing them.

Sometimes I wonder if our professors are setting us up for failure. All I hear about is how freshmen are not expected to get good grades. The exams and quizzes are not relevant to the content we are learning. I’m so tired of studying and reading exhausting academic papers that are so dense and filled with unnecessary words.

It’s hard not to feel like an idiot in this environment. When I question every day why I am studying, why I am working so hard, why I am putting my sanity on the line for teachers who don’t seem to care if I fail or not. I’m paying out the ass for this school and being told that I should be grateful towards McGill as well.

Bad grades are hard to deal with. Being screwed out of thousands of dollars and being told to say “thank you” is a recipe for a breakdown.

Eloragh

Take it Day by Day

Exhaustion is a tricky beast. Some days, you’re fine, you can get through twelve hours without much trouble. Other days, you’re better than fine. You can do so much within the time the sun rises to the time it sets, you wonder why you don’t do that much every day. Those weird days though, those are the ones that get me.

I’ve been hit with exhaustion every day for the past week. After going to AynRandCon, coming back and learning I had two exams, a paper, and a film analysis due within a week was like being smacked in the face by five different hands. I’m so tired.

Just writing this blog is taking an immense amount of energy. It frustrates me that I can’t write about more sophisticated, interesting topics that truly challenge my skills as a writer, but I have to acknowledge that this time is hard for me.

My boyfriend reminds me to take it day by day. I know I can’t do anything to get out of my situation right now that wouldn’t jeopardize my ability to come back if I wanted to. I need to be patient, keep giving it a chance, and then decide what I want to do at the end of the year.

Finals are coming up. It feels like midterms just ended. I’m more tired than I have ever been.

Eloragh

The Value of Being Purely Exhausted

After my weekend at the conference, I am beat. I have not been as tired as I am right now since I first came to Montreal a few months ago. I got in late last night and didn’t get to bed until 1am this morning. I woke up at 8 so I could buy myself breakfast because I haven’t been able to go grocery shopping in two weeks.

But I did it. I did everything I needed to do today. I went to every single class, sent out a proposition to a job that I have been interested in for a long time, and managed to visit a professor (which is a lot harder than it may seem. I cleaned out my fridge, explained to my roommates why I was gone all weekend, and spent the evening with my dad. I have to give myself some credit.

Sometimes exhaustion feels good. It feels earned and welcomed. There are days when it is so much better to be unimaginably tired by the evening than it is to feel as though you didn’t get enough done.

Eloragh