Why Philosophy is Exhausting

Philosophy is truly an academic discipline. To devote yourself to a life of thinking, connecting the dots, and offering a conclusion just to have your premise beaten up and then do it all over again is arguably destructive. For those who can’t stand to be torn down, philosophy may be a hard area of humanities to dive into. The reality of philosophy is that it is exhausting, even to those who adore it.

Philosophy requires more than just the ability to think and comprehend ideas, it requires a keen sense of logic and rationality. When pondering thoughts of morality, one might be inclined to go by their intuition rather than think premises through logically. This can be observed in many cases that work in the area of moral luck. Here’s a common example:

Person A and Person B both leave a party drunk and make the conscious decision to drive home. Person A leaves a little earlier than Person B and makes it home on completely deserted roads. Person B takes the same route, but on their way home, a child runs in front of their car. Due to their intoxication, Person B is unable to stop in time and ends up hitting the child. 

Most people’s first reaction is to assume that Person B is more morally responsible for their actions. After all, they did kill a child. However, the fact that a child ran in front of their car was out of their control. The only decision they consciously made was to drive drunk, which is the same decision Person A made. So who is more morally responsible?

That’s just one example of how intuition can affect philosophers ability to craft a legitimate argument. 20th century philosopher Elizabeth Harman argued that intuition plays an important role in how we evaluate morality. Her writing was based on an argument made by Peter Singer about the morality of affluent countries. Singer argued that it is morally wrong for “affluent” people to help others that are lacking basic necessities. His argument eventually went deeper and he took the stance that “affluent” people should continue to give away their belongings and money until they have reached the same state as everyone around them, but most find that extreme and unable to be maintained. 

This is why philosophy is exhausting. It is hard to decide where an idea begins and where it should end. It is so easy and enjoyable to connect these ideas together, but when you are trying to reach an audience that perhaps is not ready to receive so much information at one time, a philosopher must learn how to pace themselves and offer the information they most want to share. 

A philosopher’s mind is never turned off. I can only hope to continue to cultivate my ability to think so that I could develop my own theories of morality, free will, and responsibility. The world of philosophy is so rich with ideas, I am excited by the possibilities I have yet to discover. I’m also exhausted by it. 

Eloragh 

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When You Find Yourself Between Two Worlds

When I was about halfway through high school, I started to question what I wanted to do with my life. It wasn’t that I felt what I had been doing up until that moment was meaningless, but it was that I recognized that it would become meaningless if I didn’t find a passion that did more than pass the time.

I specifically remember a Ted talk called “Why some of us don’t have one true calling” triggering this thought process. All throughout school, I had been good at everything. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but toot-toot I was pretty damn smart. I maybe struggled in history sometimes, but that was mainly because I found they way it taught to be exceedingly boring. When I began to study history on my own through alternative methods of learning, I found that there are much more interesting ways to learn about the past.

So there was my struggle: I liked everything I did in school. All of the subjects I studied offered me different puzzles and challenges of connections. Even today, I love to find ways that bring in outside ideas such as science, quantum mechanics, anthropology, communications, philosophy, etc. into every paper I write. Every day I solve at least one new puzzle and connect it to another. It’s a game of learning that I am sure many are familiar with.

I have found that this game has never ceased to play out in my mind. As much as I would like to “turn off my brain,” the act of not thinking does not relax me. The problem I face now is that these puzzles are not only connecting to each other, but opening doors to opportunities. For the first time in my life, I’ve realized that just because I might succeed in every door I step through doesn’t mean I can step through them all. 

It was somewhat heartbreaking when I fell in love with philosophy at the same time I fell in love with entrepreneurship. Both concepts are puzzles and I find them to be deeply intertwined. However, my desire to study philosophy at university has impaired my ability to be entrepreneurial or gain experience in the work force and vice-versa.

I have written a good amount about my unhappiness with the McGill administration and organization and I will not take anything I said back. I am still not satisfied with the internal workings of the university. However, what I’ve begun to understand is that my education at McGill has offered me a lot of confidence in my abilities. When I attended a philosophy conference and proudly stated my views on determinism to a professor, I didn’t feel constrained by the hierarchy within academia, I felt disconnected from it. Free from it. Free to exist within it without participating in it.

Now I must decide what to do as I have found myself caught between two worlds. In both spheres, I am not the same as the people that exist within them. In academia, I am cast doubtful looks as I mention my desire to abandon school and pursue something made only out of my own will. In the alternative world, I know I am one of the few who do not hold a contempt or doubt for academia. I don’t blame those who do see university systems in such a way. It’s just not a view I can maintain truthfully.

The answer is that I don’t have to chose, but completing both will take more time than just choosing one. Despite this, I know I am up for the task. I would rather take more time to do everything I want than wake up one day regretting a lost opportunity because I was worried about time. I have far too many years before me to even consider allowing such a tragedy to occur. 

This may be a case of “hurry up and wait” but at least I know the next few years of my life won’t be boring. 

Eloragh 

The End of Term is The Hardest Part

I’m going to assume that everyone reading this has been to school or is currently in school. Right now, you’re either incredibly excited for Christmas coming up around the corner, or you’re incredibly excited for the end of term. I tend to fall in the latter of those categories.

Christmas is fantastic and every day leading up to the celebration is an excuse to spend time with family and those that you love. However, students will often tell you that the real present is being done with their first semester. It’s akin to four tons of weight being dropped from your shoulders all at once.

University classes are not fun, for the most part. There are a few courses that most colleges will intentionally try to make enjoyable and less soul-crushing, but those are rare and difficult to get in to. Majority of the time, college classes are difficult and unrewarding.

My last two days of classes are December 3rd and 4th. The sun sets incredibly early in Montreal, around 4pm these days. There is certainly a feeling of holiday coziness and warmth, but that feeling creates a desire for home, for comfort. The last week or two of term is the hardest part for both semesters. During the fall, you want to go home for Christmas. During the spring, you want to get out for summer. It’s a waiting game.

This holiday season is full of unknowns for me as I try to figure out how I want to spend the next few years of my life. It seems crazy to try to plan that far ahead, but I like to have some idea of what I want to do or where I want to go. Nothing is set in stone, but there is a picture in my mind of how the path may appear in front of me.

Merry First Day of December.

Eloragh 

Why You Should Seek Criticism

Most students will experience their first job interview between the ages of 14 and 16. They will show up in an ill-fitting but passable professional outfit and hand over a disappointing resume consisting of their GPA, community service credit hours, and honor roll mentions. Their mother will be so proud, and she should be. 

A recent graduate from the entrepreneurial program Praxis gave this fantastic quote about first jobs in a recent podcast:

“Don’t be precious about your first job. Your first job exists for two reasons — to help you learn and to help you make money. That’s it. You don’t have to love it. Adopt a mindset where you’re there to learn. That’s what makes it fun even if you weren’t initially excited about it.”
– Emily Cozzens

Talkin’ ‘Bout Praxis

This piece of advice was something I wish I had heard when going into my first job as a dishwasher at a local bar when I was 16. I remember halfway through their season, it got so hot back in the dish pit that I passed out. I was embarrassed when my dad practically forced his way to my bosses office to demand that I was put in better working conditions. Admittedly, I had been burnt out (literally and figuratively), but there was an immense value in the gritty, exhausting work I did in the back of the kitchen. My parents were definitely proud, but they could never have matched how it made me feel. 

As time has gone on, I’ve found myself seeking jobs that would help me move forward in the career I want to build. Sure, my dishwashing job was fantastic for building my character and giving me confidence in my abilities, but no employer looking for a marketing director will care about it. I was searching for a job that would help me build my resume. That was my first mistake. 

I had an interview today for a position I am incredibly excited about. Regardless of whether or not I get the job, the conversation I had with the interviewer was fantastic, but not in the way you’d think. Towards the end of the call, they began to politely explain what they would have done if they had applied for the position I was aiming at. I had been dreading this since the beginning of the interview because I knew I felt unprepared. School has had me on a tightrope, but that’s no excuse for not doing my homework on the company. 

As the interviewer went on about what I presume to be what I did wrong, I found myself smiling. Once they had said their peace and given me some amazing advice, I knew my chance at the position was fairly slim, but I felt satisfied with ending the call. I wasn’t happy that I hadn’t gotten the position, I was happy that I knew what I did wrong. After applying for internships, part-time jobs, and summer positions for months with no replies, I finally had an idea of my errors. It was as though a weight of ambiguity had been lifted off of me. 

When you seek criticism from those who know what they are looking for, they will all tell you a few of the same things:

  1. Your resume is wrong.
  2. We don’t care about references.
  3. You need to show us that you’re prepared to work before you get the job.

Applying for positions or opportunities is not about how bulky your resume is, or how many references you can gather, or how beautiful your cover letter is, it’s about doing the work for the interviewer. I had heard this concept repeated to me a million times, but it only seemed to click today. Looking for positions that will “add to your resume” is worthless if they don’t also add to the skills you have. What do you think an employer wants? A piece of paper they have to read and then decipher if you’re the best candidate or a piece of work relevant and specific to the job you’re applying for that tells them more efficiently if you’re what they want?

Take the best of everyone’s advice. Take what you want to take. Most people who share thoughts and opinions don’t expect them to make a huge impact. Seek criticism and seek it shamelessly. We are so afraid to admit that we’ve failed, and even more afraid to ask for help. Be humble, but be confident. You’re not worthless because you don’t know how to do something. You’re more valuable when you seek and accept guidance because it allows your mind to exist in an open, flexible state. When you seek criticism, your ability to hear others thoughts, perspectives, opinions, problems, and ideas will expand. Seeking criticism is not about beating yourself up, it’s about being willing to learn.

Traditional schools will tell you that it’s your resume, your references, and your cover letter that will get you through the door. That’s what they’ve told me for years, and as soon as I tried to implement it, I learned how flawed and ineffective it is. Seek criticism from every employer who turns you down. 90% may never respond once they send you a rejection email, but that other 10% are the employers who want to see growth within the skills of the job market. They care about your improvement because you represent the future of your field. Any good business owner will want to ensure their prosperity in the future, which means letting you know how to improve when you apply again.

Criticism is a beautiful part of life. When you can learn to accept and absorb the information others are willing to share with you, you will understand how much empathy and passion comes from those people. The people who are willing to take time, even a small portion of it, to help you with a part of your life that is truly impactful: your career. Value those people, let them know that you have used their advice, appreciated it, and heard it for what it was. Critics are the better educators, for they know what they want and are not afraid to say so.

Eloragh

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What is a hate-break?

There are people in this world who are so passionately in love with what they do that they begin to hate it. It’s not an uncommon or unreasonable fate that artists of any sort often fall into. Think about it – you find your passion, work at it every day, see very few early results, get frustrated, and throw it all away because you “don’t have what it takes.”

Maybe this name is only truly valuable for shock value, but this is when I would advise someone to take a “hate-break.” A hate-break is determined by each person who decides to utilize the term and is, essentially, a break from something you love because it’s slowly becoming something you hate. 

This happened to me recently. I love writing, probably more than I love ballet. However, I have felt as though my writing is not reaching as far or as fast as I want. I am also having trouble seeing progress in my skills as a writer, which is equally as frustrating. When I did get feedback or comments on my writing, it was constructive at best. I felt as though I was losing my voice while yelling my ideas at a brick wall.

Photo Credit

So, I looked at my timeline. My dad came to visit me on October 28th, my boyfriend came on November 13th, and they both left today (it’s been a shitty day in that regard, but nonetheless.) I decided that the period of November 12th through November 18th would be a good time for me to take a rest.

As I mentioned earlier, this concept of a “hate-break” is incredibly flexible. This period of time worked for me because it gave me the time I needed to rest, but it also didn’t make me become used to not writing. I needed to miss it enough that I wanted to start blogging again, but not let it go so long that it would become a different kind of chore. The chore of starting anew.

Writing, just as any art, can be exhausting. An author has to show their soul, their ideas, their values, and their knowledge to the world in the hopes that someone will read it and appreciate it. Some have the power and confidence to write simply for themselves, but others, such as myself, want to know that all of our work has made somewhat of a difference.

Eloragh  

Dismissing Panic

Midterm season is a panicky time of the year. I would say this type of stress comes around about 4 times in most everyone’s life. If you’re a student, it’s midterms and finals. If you’re in the workforce, it’s quarterly reports and quotas. I have no doubt there are more examples, but I want to dive into the idea of how to dismiss this type of panic.

I’m most likely going to be taking summer courses in 2019. I have an 11-month lease on this apartment and will probably be in Montreal, so I have no reason not to do so. I want to get out of college as fast as possible, so if I take summer courses I’ll be halfway done by the beginning of the next fall semester. If I take summer courses again, I’ll be on track to graduate by the end of 2020. Graduating after two years of work is nearly unheard of, but I’m determined to study on my terms.

Although I am very ambitious and passionate person, panic has never evaded me during times of stress. Today, I frantically checked my GPA through an online calculator to make sure I was where I wanted to be. I plan on taking a gap year for the next fall and winter semesters, so I have to maintain a GPA of 3.0. A 3.0 is a 70% at McGill, so it’s entirely doable, but some fear set in after I noticed how I was struggling in my French class. That worry commanded my thoughts for the next hour during my philosophy conference where I am sure I missed valuable information about the upcoming essay we have.

Halfway through the conference, the panic was still there. I was checking different combinations of grades to see how poorly I could do to maintain a GPA of 3.0 even though I knew I would never reach that low. It was the fear and desperation to know that everything would be ok that had me tapping away at my phone. At this point, I took notice of what I was doing, how I was feeling and recognized that I needed to take a step back from this obsession.

In high school, I was obsessed with grades. Ultimately, I did get something out of it. I was valedictorian of my class, received more scholarships than any other student, was recognized by the Governor of New Mexico. I met and worked with my two amazing mentors and joined Original Path. My perfectionism looked fantastic from the outside, but it had slowly eaten away at my mental state. It was a wake-up call when I found myself crying over a mark of 89% in one class.

Since then, I’ve been careful to catch myself when I get nit-picky about my grades. Especially as a college freshman, I have a lot to learn before I should be too concerned with my marks. I’m not failing, not by any means, so I should divert my attention to more important things such as my mental and physical health.

So I did just that – I diverted my attention. I told myself I was going to solely focus on my philosophy conference until it was over, and if I still wanted to panic about my grades once it was, I would be able to go home and do so in private. That ended up not happening because a sense of panic will usually pass through the human mind rather quickly. The trick is to distract yourself. When you find yourself becoming obsessive over anything, distracting yourself and taking your focus away from the object of obsession is always the safest and most effective way to fix the situation.

Eloragh

 

Busy Busy Days

My past two days have been quite busy. I have been running from place to place, writing midterms, studying for other exams, and trying to manage internships and a regular courseload as well. I touched on this subject yesterday, but I was very tired and not prepared to dive into it.

Today, however, is a different day. Yesterday, I had four classes, one midterm, and one midterm review. I met up with a friend briefly during lunch because that was the only time either of us could scrape together to see each other. It was a big reminder that growing up and following through on your adult responsibilities will limit your social time. To cap the day off, I had dinner with a family friend who is helping me to get my passport application in. A very busy day that ended around 1am.

Today, I had a nail appointment around 11:30. I get my nails done every two weeks, but I swear it’s for practical reasons. I don’t wear makeup or use hair products other than shampoo and conditioner, so the money I save on what would be a woman’s “usual” beauty budget goes towards keeping my nails and eyebrows maintained. As someone who wants to be an entrepreneur and present a put-together representation of me, this is a reasonable expense.

After that, I had a French monitorat session. Monitorat is an ungraded, incredibly laid-back, class that everyone in a French level is required to take. My level is 103, so I was only required to take 3 monitorat sessions. I chose the first three available to get it out of the way and this one was my last one. The whole goal is to improve your oral comprehension and application of the language. Although I enjoy it, it definitely threw my schedule in a loop these last three weeks.

Around 4pm, I had a meeting at my bank to discuss savings accounts, a US chequing account, and credit card applications. The representative was extremely helpful and understanding when I told her that I was unfamiliar with a lot of these processes. Although it was not hard to get that done, it did take up a decent chunk of my time.

When I got home, I had a little time to put together some dinner before I changed my clothes and hopped back on the metro (for the 5th time today) to get to ballet.

Now, I can rest. I probably shouldn’t be though. I am meeting with my class group for my final project in communications tomorrow. I should be studying for a French midterm on Monday. I want to dig through last years eCalendar and see what courses were available in the summer. There are so many things I wanted to do that didn’t get done. There is never enough time in the day.

More often than not, I have to pick between very close priorities. I haven’t been to the grocery store in 10 days and am beginning to run low on food. I am most definitely going to go tomorrow, but it will make my day just as packed.

Growing up means taking care of your responsibilities but not allowing them to get in the way of taking care of yourself. It will be difficult to find a balance for a while, but I’m prepared to work through it. I’m enjoying this transition phase as much as I can and I won’t let a few hiccups ruin all of the amazing things I have seen and felt.

Eloragh